Clandestine Royal Page 4

  “You’re still impatient.”

  Cheeks flushed, she glared at me from underneath her lashes. “I’ve been waiting for this every day for five years. I need you to touch me.”

  Chest heaving, her eyes implored mine, her desperation leaking. She wanted me to see how much she needed me. She wanted me to see how much she still cared. Every part of me, both brain and heart begged me to ignore the feelings that surfaced with her confession, because they remembered the fog and the feel of her betrayal.

  “Luke, please.”

  Tears slid down her cheeks as she bucked against my fingers. Lifting her from the ground, I dipped and leisurely licked her swollen lips before I buried my face in her soaked pussy. Though it didn’t show, I was starving for her, so I drank and drank, tasting, teasing, bringing her to the brink. She gasped out my name and ran her fingers through my hair, glancing down at me and then closing her eyes tight freeing more of her tears.

  I never imagined her betrayal had hurt her as much and I was raw at the sight of it. Growing furious with my emotions I jerked her legs farther apart and pulled her lower half onto my lap as I pushed a finger into her arse. She screamed out with reaction and wide eyes looked up at me.

  “There’s a reason there’s been trouble in the bedroom, Fina. Alex has fine-tuned his tastes, trust me, you’re not his type.” Mouth gaping, she looked down at me with drunk lust eyes. “But you have grown into such a beautiful woman,” I whispered. “Such a pretty cunt,” I reiterated the point as I dipped down again and showered her with my vigorous licks. She moaned as I went deeper, burying my chin at her entrance before thrusting three fingers inside to stretch her. She rubbed her pussy eagerly against my face until her release came and her body shuddered in my hands. Her orgasm lasted a small eternity.

  “I really needed that,” she said with a content sigh as she moved to sit. “But who better than the Duke to get me off?”

  I withdrew the hand that still teased and glared down at her as she looked over at me defiantly. “You bastard, you screwed half the palace!” She pulled herself to her knees and began to pound my chest with her fists. “You fucked everyone!”

  She was seething as she ripped at my chest and neck with her claws and I gripped her wrists to stop her. I couldn’t help my smile at her rage. And she laughed at me as if I were the fool.

  “You are a dim man. I’ve been unfaithful? You fell for that sweet, remorseful naked maiden rouse so easily. Do you think I could feel that guilty after what you’ve done?! After you’ve fucked half of London?!”

  The joke was on me. I had to admit she was an amazing actress. She certainly had me fooled.

  “What I’ve done?!” I snapped as I pinned her beneath me. “All I’ve done is become a happy bachelor.” Her teeth snapped in front of me as I chuckled my way through her misery.

  “You fucked two of my cousins!”

  “I did no such thing,” I defended weakly. I honestly had no idea who I’d slept with, I’d been drunk the last five years.

  “Have you no pride? No shame!?”

  “Pride in what? Shame for whom? You have me confused with a man who has something to lose!”

  “You haven’t lost me, you fool, but you’re close to making sure you do!”

  “Who says I want you?”

  She paused her fight as angry tears surfaced. “You got hurt, Luke, but you fail to realise we both did! I was miserable without you. Everything I did was to protect you!”

  “It was a stupid move!”

  “I was nineteen years old! I wasn’t thinking with my head, I was thinking with my heart!”

  We were still struggling on the grass, as she pushed against the hands that held her wrists.

  “Let me go.”

  “Not a chance.” I pulled out my cock and sank between her legs. She snapped at my lips as I tried to kiss her. “The more you fight me, the harder I’m going to fuck you, Fina.”

  “You don’t deserve me, or my loyalty you stupid, stupid man.”

  “Stupid?” I snarled as I lined myself at her entrance and she moaned with a mix of fury and agony. I pressed in slightly giving her a chance to protest and her face blanked out as her mouth formed a perfect “o.”

  She gripped my shoulders and opened her eyes and her legs as I thrust in so hard we both cried out.

  Her tears fell as our gazes collided and I reared back and pressed in again.

  “I hate you,” she cried as I fucked her, the feel of her silky wet pussy ruining the second half of my life.

  “And you think I don’t feel the same?”

  I drove in again and her whole body rose with the movement as she clawed my hair and sank into the weight of it. Picking up my pace, I gripped her throat to stop her words, I couldn’t handle any more of her admissions. Pumping my hips, I watched her every reaction, her eyes, her lips, her murmurs as she took and took, and I gave and gave, tearing through her like I would never know inside her again. She tightened around me as I bared down and then burst into flames. Sarafina’s body tensed as short breaths escaped her. Covered in sweat, I furiously fucked her, my body exhausted, my mind hell-bent on punishment. I refused to entertain the feelings in my chest because it was what got me to where I was in the first place.

  She pulled me tightly to her, murmuring my name with trust filled eyes as I fought against the weight of the feelings she still evoked.

  I still loved her.

  How could I seek revenge against a woman I could never get over? She’d ruined me. I had nothing left.

  I gripped her throat as my sac tightened and then spilt every drop inside her, thrusting up and grunting out my release.

  After, we lay breathless in the grass, staring up at the scattered scarcely starred sky as our breaths evened out. She shook next to me with silent sobs before she spoke.

  “We were closer than two…t-two people could be, how could you think I wasn’t t-t-there with you in that room?”

  I turned to face her, and my chest tightened when she showed me her pain.

  “It was the worst moment of your life and mine. You weren’t alone. You were never alone. I felt it all with you. It didn’t just happen to you. Please, forgive me for telling the truth but stop believing you were the only one.”

  “We can never be together so don’t entertain if for a second.” I gathered my clothes and began to put them on.

  “We are more than love.” My eyes snapped to hers and I swallowed as she levelled me. “We are more than the promises we made and broke. We are more, Luke. We are eternal. You didn’t believe your own words, but I did. I’m the fool.”

  She sat up and began scanning the grass for her dress. Her shoulders were still shaking. I’d hadn’t seen her cry since the night I took her virginity, and then those were tears of happiness. Before that, Fina didn’t cry. She simply accepted things for good or bad. The vulnerability was new.

  “You never cried.”

  She shook her head. “All this time, I thought maybe if I could reach you that I could convince you that I was still yours but now I know, I’m alone in this.” She buried her head in her hands and let out a sob, her shoulders shaking.

  Gut aching, I pulled her into my lap and slid her dress on. There was no way I was leaving her in the garden, naked. But I couldn’t make sure she got home safely, because her home was a palace. I couldn’t take her again through the night because her body didn’t belong to me, and I wouldn’t be able to wake her up as her husband because I wasn’t the King. Sensing my anger, she looked over to me.

  “What?”

  I ripped myself away from her and shook my head. “You got what you came for.”

  “You can’t be serious.”

  “Goodnight, Sarafina.”

  Her sobs haunted me all the way to my car.

  Six

  Luke

  Remington followed me in from the garage.

  “I thought you were entertaining tonight, sir?”

  “Piss off.”

  “I
see you’re in a mood.”

  “Yes, the most pleasant of moods, get me four fingers.”

  “Oh, dear.”

  “Call me Luke.”

  “Funny, sir. Are you sure you should be drin—"

  “Remington!”

  In my bedroom, I slid off my shoes and began tugging off my tuxedo.

  “So, I take it tonight didn’t fare so well?”

  Ignoring his interrogation, I clawed at my shirt. I could still smell her perfume and her scent was all over me, on my fingers, I was still swallowing her. Skin burning, I gasped for the air she’d so freely given. She’d confessed all, left little to mystery, but for the life of me, I could never forgive her, even after I tasted the love that still lingered in her kiss.

  “I’ll draw you a bubble bath.”

  Turning on my heel, I glared at Remington ready to pounce. He extended my glass. “What in the hell for?”

  “Because you enjoy them. I assumed they were for your company until I realised the salts were getting low and you hadn’t entertained in some time.”

  I started to speak and swallowed the offered liquor instead. “Another.”

  Remington stopped at my doorway. “I’ll get you some of those little mint chocolates you like as well.”

  Narrowing my eyes, I took an aggressive step forward. “You may need a vacation.”

  His threatening smile vanished. “Nothing to be ashamed of, sir. A hot bath may ease some of the tension.”

  “She smelled like lavender,” I whispered.

  Remington turned back in the doorway, brows drawn. “Sir?”

  My mother.

  Turning my back to Remington, I pulled off my shirt. “Nothing. Fetch my drink.”

  When I was a child, my nightly bath was the only time my mother really spent with me. She would disclose the events of her nights amongst royalty while sitting next to me in an outrageously expensive evening gown. I didn’t understand half of what she said, but I remembered her elegance and that she always smelled of lavender. More and more often, when I missed her, I would soak in the scent of her. It was a minor comfort. It was the only time I felt close to her. As I became more aware of her deeds and as my parents grew farther apart, there seemed to be no place for me in her life. It was as if she’d given up on her family in lieu of reliving some alternate life. For a reason I could never understand, I forgave her of everything without a reason to. Though I despised the facts, and I wish she’d spared me, it led me down the road to the truth. And my truth was simple. No matter who I shared my life with, I was completely and utterly alone and could trust no one. Not even the one person who was meant to nurture me. It was the human condition to need. So daily I decided my needs would be simple—a couple fingers of liquor, a warm, tight cunt, and a selfish agenda. I lived for no one and it worked just fine. Those were the things I learned to depend on. I could count on these things. False warmth was always a better alternative to vulnerability. I would bleed for no one else.

  I stared at my bath water opting for a shower and dismissed Remington after he’d fetched my third glass of scotch. He lingered in the doorway as I braced my hands on the side of my sink.

  “I watched the report tonight. Our queen has become quite the woman.” I glared at him in the reflection. “She still adores you and it’s very apparent.”

  No part of that was a comfort to me, though I knew it wasn’t his intention. I knew very well what was coming.

  “But also very dangerous for her.” I dipped my chin in a curt nod. “I trust you will leave her to the decision she’s made.”

  I turned to face him, sliding my hands in my trouser pockets. “What makes you think I have a say?”

  “I watched the two of you grow in love, Luke. I’m not an idiot. I’ve been a servant of the throne since I was fifteen years old.”

  “And what are you now, a hundred?”

  “Wise. That’s what I am.” He squared his shoulders, his beefy fingers fastening a loose button on his jacket. “I’ve seen the complexity of feelings in and out of that palace and no one is immune to hard times.”

  “Hard times?”

  “What’s done is done. There is a woman out there who could love you the way you deserve, give you a family, a purpose. And you have your rightful place as Duke.”

  “Is that so?”

  “It was Alex’s throne.”

  Red was the only colour I could see as he took a step into the room and stared me down.

  “I’m not afraid to tell you the truth, Luke, because I have nothing to lose. Despite my station, I’m a wealthy man and have been for years. As much as you love to think I fancy you, the truth is I have a lover and he is twice the man you are. I have loved you as the boy I watched grow into a man capable of far more than the way he is acting. Capable of being far more than a servant to his country or a slave to his wicked whims. You are acting like a coward and I refuse to stand by one more day and watch you destroy yourself or Sarafina. His blood is pure, it’s his place as much as I hate that for you. Take your place, your rightful place as Duke and forget this vengeance or you will regret it. Consider this my notice.”

  Temporarily stunned, I gawked at the open door and followed him to the front of my townhouse.

  “And all this time I thought I was your purpose.”

  He turned to me, eyes swimming with emotion. “You were my purpose, my last post, but I’ve failed you and I can’t watch you drink yourself into madness anymore. You’re hurting everyone who cares about you.”

  He picked up a leather bag that I hadn’t noticed he’d packed from the hallway and turned to me at the front door.

  “I’ll be where you need me to be when you hit bottom.”

  “You have so little faith in me?”

  “No, I’m positive you will succeed in exactly what you set out to do.”

  “Fucking right I will.”

  “You’ve already lost her Luke, let her go.”

  And with that, he was out the door.

  Seven

  Sarafina

  My bedroom door slammed as I took off my earrings.

  “You fucked him!?”

  Swallowing, I turned to face my husband.

  “You had me followed?”

  He was seething from the tip of his beautiful head to his toes. I couldn’t wrap my head around his anger. Just hours earlier he’d refused me and my last attempt to save our crumbling marriage.

  Alex stalked over to where I stood and lifted my chin with rough fingers. “Why? The man hates you!” Ignoring the sting of his truthful words, I focused on what had transpired in his bedroom hours earlier.

  “You rejected me, you practically gave me permission!”

  “Not with him. Anyone but him!”

  “You don’t want me, but he can’t have me!? Why!?”

  His tone was deadly. “Lower your voice when speaking to me.”

  “You took his crown, why me too, and don’t tell me it’s because you wanted me, or loved me, it’s because he did, but why? You’re in a relationship, a committed relationship and I’m your wife, you made me your queen, but we don’t have a marriage, we have nothing!”

  Alex gripped my throat. “You’ve made a fucking fool out of me!”

  “I did no such thing. Only my guard knows we were alone in that garden. You assume the worst. We merely talked.” Denial. Lying. I’d become an expert at it, thanks to him and the position he put me in. There was no true way for him to know unless Jared, my most trusted guard, told him the truth and Jared’s truth was that he was loyal to me and the extra compensation, the Queen’s ransom I paid him to keep quiet. Only one thing reined over loyalty in the palace and that was greed, which I had an abundance of. No matter what Alex promised him, I knew Jared would never betray my trust. He was the one ace up my sleeve.

  “There is grass in your hair.” He plucked a piece from my hair and held it in his hand in front of me. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

  “He hates me. Look at my face,
Alex, look at it! Do I look happy?”

  His eyes traced the lines of running mascara, the splotches on my cheeks. “If you’re so sure, then check for yourself.”

  Thankful I’d washed, and well, before I returned to our quarters, I kept his gaze with confident eyes. Fingernails dug into the flesh of my neck as he raged in front of me, closely inspecting my skin. Luke hadn’t left a mark, he was careful that way. Inside I was withering as Alex used his free hand to lift my dress and press a finger in between my thighs. When he came up empty of seed, he rubbed his fingers together still unconvinced.

  “What did you talk about?”

  “I apologised for my part in what we’d done to him.”

  “For marrying me?”

  “For hurting him! Jesus, Alex, we destroyed his life. Have you no sympathy for him at all?”

  “None. He would have made a horrible king. Look at the way he acts now, on impulse and whim. He’s an embarrassment to his family, much like his mother. He doesn’t think things through. He would have been weak. He was unworthy, and the throne was no place for him. He wasn’t the rightful heir and it only made for a better case. We knew—”

  “We?”

  Alex took a step back and swallowed. “He was never going to be king.”

  My whole body shuddered with new awareness. “Who helped you?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “The hell it doesn’t…how long had you been planning this?”

  “The Queen came to my father years ago. He was never going to have a place.”

  “The Queen …she already knew.” As I suspected. I sat on the edge of my bed, my hand on my chest. “If she knew, then why did you force me to tell her…” I looked up to Alex as his features shifted to something I didn’t recognise. The depths of his eyes grew hollow as I watched his reaction. “You wanted me to break his heart. You wanted to ruin him. Why?”

  Alex looked bored with the conversation, as if his revelation didn’t change everything. “I’m selfish. I did want you and now I haven’t a clue why.”

  My voice shook with outrage. “You ruined us both! You told me if I confessed you would do everything in your power to protect him!”