Clandestine Royal Read online

  “I made you queen.”

  I put as much space between us as I could before I reeled on him, my fists clenched at my sides. “I never wanted to be your queen!”

  He stalked towards me, the intent in his posture clear.

  “It’s too late. And it’s time you knew your place.”

  “Please don’t.”

  His breath hit my lips as he peered down at me with contempt. “From now on, we sleep together as man and wife. Nothing and no one between us.” Cornering me, he stripped down until he was bare and pumped his cock as his eyes darkened. “Undress for me as you did earlier. It’s all I can think about.”

  “Lies, Lies!” I snapped. “You never loved me!”

  The connection of his hand was what severed anything we might have had. I cupped my cheek to soothe the burning flesh. “Please, Alex, if you ever cared, don’t do this.”

  “Fina, listen to me.” He gently pressed his lips to where my cheek burned. “I’ll never raise a hand against you again. And you’ll never give me a reason to. You asked me earlier for a marriage and I’m willing to erase the last hour between us.” His eyes trailed down my body as he bent to whisper. “Now undress for me my queen, it’s time for an heir.” Bile rose in my throat as he pressed me into the mattress, his lips attached to my neck as tears trailed down my cheek.

  Eight

  Luke

  Six years ago...

  Sarafina slid her arm around mine and tossed her golden spun hair behind her shoulder. She looked like an angel in the sun, her creamy skin glowing in the daylight as we pranced around my father’s country estate imagining our future. The day had graced us, letting in a sliver of sun as we made our way through the thick brush of the lush garden. The cottage was just miles outside of Oxford, and Fina’s and my favourite escape. The pressures of monarchy didn’t exist past the walls of the manor. Golden fields lay just beyond our retreat and the cottage was centred in such a way that every direction you turned had a breathtaking view. We’d spent much of the last few summers there, escaping our roles and the expectations that lay ahead of us. Alex had accompanied us but remained at the house, grumbling about giving us some privacy, claiming to be engrossed in a new novel. He’d been absent for the last few months, but I’d never been one to talk feelings, I assumed he’d come to me when he got it sorted. I had no issue with the privacy he so generously gave. I wanted to be alone with her. We were on the verge of entering our respective roles. Things were about to drastically change, but I had no problem embracing destiny with the hand of the woman who held mine.

  “Something is wrong with Alex,” Fina said, before pausing to pick up a wildflower. “He’s withdrawn.”

  “He’s getting sorted, he probably needs this break.”

  “Have you talked to him?”

  “Yes, while we were painting each other’s toenails.”

  She rolled her eyes and tapped my nose with her plucked flower.

  “I’ll talk to him,” she offered.

  “He’s not one to talk feelings. Leave him be.”

  “I’m worried. He’s not fencing anymore, he locked himself up in his room practically the whole trip here.”

  “He’s probably wanking.”

  “Only you would be so crude.”

  “That’s because I can see your fucking nipples through that top and I’m hard as stone.”

  “Are you?”

  “Yes, care to remedy that?”

  “I’m being serious.” Her tone said as much, but the rapid rise and fall of her chest told me all I needed to know.

  “So am I, quite.”

  “Luke, I—”

  I silenced her with my lips and she moaned in surprise, gripping my arms as I cradled her face. Her body lax, she moulded against mine. When she pulled away, her words were instant as if she couldn’t wait to say them.

  “I love you, Luke. So much that it scares me.”

  Sarafina had always been a sentimental romantic. I’d known it since the day we met, and I’d watched her for a solid year, enchanted by her perfection, stunned by her intelligence, taken aback with her capacity to love. I pulled her to sit with me on the grass. Cradling her face, I smoothed the worry off her brow with my thumbs.

  “Don’t be afraid to love me. I’m going to marry you, Fina.”

  Her eyes welled with tears. “Good, but I hope you know that a declaration is far shy of a question. You’ll have to ask me properly.”

  I quirked a brow. “I wouldn’t dream of cheating you of that.”

  “Good, because I can’t wait to see your arrogant arse on one knee.”

  That earned her a smirk. I loved her sass, her ability to bring me to my knees with defiance. I loved fighting with her, just for the fact of all the sport after.

  “You know you’re perfect, Luke,” she whispered, her words seducing me before the feel of her fingers. I pulled her to straddle me.

  “Perfect?”

  “Well,” she said glancing back at my bare feet. “Except for that strange little third toe.”

  I wiggled my stunted third toe and she giggled as I tossed her on her back. “God decided to take that inch and add it to my cock instead, see for yourself.”

  She gasped as I rubbed myself against her so she could feel it.

  “You’re such a cocky bastard.”

  “All the fine skills to be a king.”

  She rolled her eyes as I sucked her full bottom lip into my mouth. “You disagree?”

  “Humble, graceful, these are better words suited to describe the traits of a good king.”

  Loving me might scare her but loving her terrified me. I’d only had the poor example of my parents’ marriage and if that example was any indication of what marriage did to love, I knew I would battle with everything inside me to make sure our fate was nothing like theirs.

  The look in Sarafina’s eyes held all the hope I needed to believe in more for us.

  “I’ll be King, and you’ll be my queen.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Not very poetic. The throne is already yours. There is no labour or sacrifice in that, it’s merely a privilege. You’ll need to do better to fully take my hand. I prefer something more poetic.”

  Sliding my arm around her waist I crushed her to me. “Unsatisfied, are you?”

  She shrugged with a gleam in her eyes. “Maybe I’ll marry a poet instead.”

  I sucked her lip into my mouth and mumbled around it. “Keep it up and I’ll redden your arse and deny your orgasm.”

  Her cheeks flushed, though at that point we’d executed only a hundred of the thousands of scenarios I had in my head. I intended to remedy that immediately. I had an unhealthy obsession with her and I didn’t give a fuck because the feeling was mutual, and it did my heart good that she returned my needful looks, my longing.

  I let go of her suddenly, forcing her to tumble back. “Or maybe I could go the route of marrying someone a little less mouthy.”

  “You do that.” She slowly stood and lifted her pink flowered sundress to show me what she wore beneath, which was nothing. I was rock hard as she bunched the fabric with her fist in one hand while trailing a hand down her stomach, slowly dipping her fingers down the small patch of blonde hair on her pussy before swiping a finger through her drenched centre. She lifted her coated fingers to her mouth and covered them with her arousal. “I was sure half of my appeal when it comes to you was my mouth. I must have been mistaken.”

  I stalked towards her as she dashed away and began to sprint towards the thick brush. I caught up with her in seconds, nailing her back to the ground. She giggled beneath me, turning her head to dodge my hungry mouth.

  “Fina,” I hissed, my balls tightening at the sight of her beautiful lips covered in her essence. She’d never done anything that erotic and I was beside myself with lust. When my lips finally claimed hers, I sucked them dry, tasting her arousal and feeding off her. She melted beneath my kiss and moaned at the exploratory touch of my fingers. Bracing myself above
her, green eyes implored mine, filled with love. She’d turned my stone heart into that of flesh with a look alone. The feel of her erasing all doubts that our fate would equal that of my parents and their disgraceful example. We could never be them. Our duelling tongues rid me of any bitter taste left by the jaded example of love that I’d witnessed. The truth was in that moment, I knew I’d never known love until her. Sarafina was a living, breathing example of it, and hope.

  She wrapped her eager legs around me as I lined my engorged cock up with her entrance and pushed in slowly, my eyes searching and finding the light and warmth only she could make me feel. I thrust my love inside her, my new poet’s heart etching her words into a place only she belonged.

  “I love you true, Luke.”

  Closing my eyes at the feel of her, she strangled my cock as her words closed around my heart ripping it from my chest to make it irrevocably hers.

  Pain seared me as I roused from sleep. “Remington! Breakfast!”

  It took a full minute to realise I was alone in the townhouse, my head swimming with memories no amount of alcohol could erase. Restless and furious, I wrapped my hand around my cock, cursing as I pumped vigorously, the ache remaining long after I’d soiled my sheets. My plan had been to approach her and seduce her when the time was right. When I knew she was at her lowest point with her shit excuse of a husband. Sarafina never stopped loving me, that was true, but I had expected her to take her marriage seriously, not once thinking she would be a willing participant until she’d had enough of Alex’s bullshit. Never had I thought she would be the one coming to me asking for my touch, and indirectly my love, especially after five long years of ignoring her. Her presumption that I still had affection for her pissed me off, the fact that she was right, made me furious.

  I hadn’t fully closed myself off to her which was dangerous. The worst part was that I believed her. It wasn’t her greed for the throne that had caused her to betray me. It was for some misplaced protection she could never provide. Clearly, I’d done a horrible job of convincing her I wanted her more than the crown. She never knew the truth of my love for her, how deep it ran, and she never would.

  Nine

  Sarafina

  The upside to public appearances is that in the view of the world, we had a role to play. Outside the bedroom and the palace walls, we were rulers, not lovers, and public displays of affection were not only frowned upon but discouraged. In an attempt to show a more united front, we’d agreed to attend an opera. Alex had spent the week punishing me, a hypocrite, as I was sure he’d done nothing as far as remedying his infidelities. I winced as Alex extended his hand to help me out of the car. Ever the gentlemen, he smiled at me adoringly for the eager public before he let go of my hand and whispered in my ear. “I hurt you and I’m sorry. I regret it.”

  “I’ll never believe another word you say,” I hissed. My heart was shattered for our friendship and the fact that for the rest of my life, I would live with a man I could never possibly love and had started to hate. My resentment grew with each step we took towards the theatre. Briefly, I wondered if Luke would show, then again, I couldn’t bear to look at him after the events of last week. He’d left me crying in the garden with my dignity and heart in shreds. I caused the divide, but he’d refused my truths. Our love was dead the minute I uttered the words and accepted Alex’s proposal. I’d killed us and though the heartache was deserved, I was still playing martyr though Luke seemed to have long forgotten our pledge to the other.

  Alex had been vicious with me, filling me over and over, fucking me until I begged him to stop. I’d never thought him capable of such wrath and could never forgive him for his treatment of me. He never wanted me until his animosity towards Luke won, causing some misplaced jealous rage I could never understand.

  “Fina,” Alex gritted through clenched jaws while I waved at the cameras. I could feel the anger vibrate off of him and followed his line of sight. Jealousy surged through me while I watched Luke—mere feet ahead—escort his latest conquest inside. She was stunning and practically wrapped around him.

  “Get that fucking look off of your face, now,” Alex snapped before pinching the inside of my arm. Shocked at his public display, I winced before I met his deadly gaze. Alex’s cruelty had been curbed by the memory of Luke’s touch in our garden. It was the only thing that got me through the minutes spent at his cruel hands. Though, as the days passed, I began to think myself a bigger fool. That I’d imagined the look in his eyes when he touched me, or the remorse that etched his features when he saw my tears. Luke looked back at us briefly when he heard the commotion of our arrival. He gave us both a friendly wave before clasping the hand that rest on his arm and looking at his date with adoration. My heart snapped in two when he disappeared inside the theatre with the smile that was typically reserved for me. At that moment, I wanted more than anything to snap the rest of our connection, to break apart the ties that seem to endlessly bind us.

  “You just can’t stop, can you?” Alex seethed while we were ushered into the building. “For once be the wife Garrison raised you to be.”

  I closed my eyes briefly and shook my head. My cousin had been the man behind the ruse. Of course, it was Garrison. Though he’d counselled the Queen and had been her right hand up until her death, I assumed that prestigious station wasn’t enough for him. He’d seen to it that I was bred for royalty. In fact, he’d been the one to insist I was well hidden from the sights of the heirs until I was fifteen. He’d often visit our home with strict instructions for my mother on specifics in my schooling. It had always bewildered me just how much power he had in swaying her. Had she been in on it too? Even my grooming hadn’t been left to chance. I’d suffered through endless beauty rituals and hours of extra tutoring by order of my cousin. My life had been chosen for me and all by the “suggestion” of Garrison and his never-ending demands. Had he gotten in so deep with the late queen that his agenda was the one carried out and not her own? Garrison had greatly encouraged my relationship with Luke once we met and practically pushed me in front of him like a prized cow.

  “Garrison,” I huffed. “Of course, it was him. And you were just another one of his pawns. Was he your confidante? You’re disgusting.”

  “One more word like that from your lips and I’ll humiliate you tonight. Understood?”

  “Being your wife is humiliating enough.”

  Alex looked at me as if to say. You asked for it.

  A calm washed over me at that moment. I knew then, no matter what happened from that moment forward, my life was my own, regardless of my station. I’d already lost everything, and that made me dangerous.

  It was time to fight back, and I would bring the fight to all of them, including Luke.

  In the middle of the performance, I gestured for Jared to accompany me to the restroom. I’d seen enough, between the watchful eye of my husband, and catching Luke lean over and whisper to his date, I felt sick. Like nothing could be right again. Once the room was clear and I was free to fall apart, I walked inside, resting my hands on the counter and leaned in. I refused to cry. I was done with the theatrics. The situation was a disaster. My insides were sore from a week of Alex’s punishment, my heart was destroyed after years of being ignored by the man I swore to protect no matter what it cost me. I needed an escape, just a few moments to collect myself. I sighed heavily and pulled my lipstick from my clutch.

  “You look tired my queen.”

  “Don’t call me that.” I looked up to see Luke eyeing me from a few feet behind. He looked devastating in his tuxedo.

  “Let’s leave the past where it belongs. And let’s stop with the left hooks. I assure you, I’m done.”

  He took a menacing step towards me. “Done, are you?”

  “Yes. You’ve refused my apology. It’s time I move on. I can see I’m wasting my time. Your date is waiting. She’s beautiful and has a kind smile. Congratulations, I do wish you every happiness.”

  “How very generous of you.
”

  “What can I say?” I brushed on my lipstick while my body rattled. “I’m feeling generous.”

  “So am I,” he said closing the distance between us, his warm breath on my neck. “Lift your dress and I’ll show you just how much.”

  “Stop it,” I said furiously. “Stop your games. The cost is too high.”

  “Oh, but my queen, you started it.”

  “Those words I said, they were to a man who no longer exists. Forget them.”

  He turned me to him, his mask indifferent. “Forget them?”

  “Go back to your date.”

  We glared at each other and I felt the breath leave my body when he leaned in. “I’d rather play.”

  “Luke, I’ve been gone too long already. Alex is suspicious.”

  “Alex left the second you did, I’m sure he’s got plans of his own.”

  “Or he’s followed me.”

  “Doubtful, he’s in the gallery now fucking a carefully placed decoy.”

  I closed my eyes. “Jesus.”

  “You could never be enough for him, Fina. He loves cock far too much to give it up.”

  “Please,” I whispered as tears threatened. “Please just leave me alone.”

  “Last week you were begging for my cock, for my love. You’re very confusing, my queen.”

  I pushed at his chest when he closed in. “I’m no one’s queen!”

  “More tears? Are they for him? Have you stopped loving me?”

  He gripped my wrist and I flinched. Brown eyes went dark as his brows fused together. “What’s happened?”

  “What?” My voice was too weak to be convincing. I cursed my stupidity while his jaw turned to stone.

  “You’ve never in your life flinched at my touch. What has he done?”

  “Nothing.”

  "Take off your dress, right now.”

  “Luke—”

  “right fucking now!”