Clandestine Royal Read online

  I could live with that, but one look at my king let me know he couldn’t.

  Five

  Luke

  Looking at her had been a mistake. A big fucking mistake. Once I’d opened that door, it couldn’t be shut. She had on a dress that bordered indecent, though it only traced her sensual curves. I wanted to slip under the table, spread her legs and bury my face in her pussy before I drowned in the scent of her. She was an unbearable weakness as she’d always been. I was safer not knowing just how beautiful she’d become. My cock was rigid and eager to break free. Sarafina’s cousin was an inch away from discovering just how ready I was. Stopping the movement of her hand on my thigh, I leaned over to whisper, “This isn’t right. You deserve better than this. Behave yourself and I’ll make sure you get what you’re entitled to.”

  She looked at me with desire filled eyes. “When?”

  “Patience.”

  “I’m not good at that,” she rasped out before resuming the ministrations of her fingers.

  She wasn’t in charge. I gripped her hand roughly and squeezed, getting a whimper. “Behave, or I won’t give you anything.”

  That stopped her. She gave Sarafina a contrite smirk across the table. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Wasn’t anyone loyal anymore? Royalty and nobility were hard pressed in a sentence together these days. Whatever happened to rebelling when given just cause? Why was undermining for no apparent reason the new norm? Silently I said a small prayer of thanks that I didn’t get the crown. I would be ashamed to submerge any child I had into the environment I thought I wanted to be a part of. It was toxic, to say the least. I glared at Sarafina’s cousin, hell-bent on making my point clear.

  “You know we were in love once, your cousin and I?”

  “She’s still in love with you.”

  My nostrils flared. “Yet you would do anything for my cock, why?”

  “I have no allegiance with her. Besides she’s married, to the King.” I ignored the threatening burn of her statement.

  “She’s your family, your blood.”

  “She’s a monthly obligation and means nothing to me.”

  Disgusted, I glanced up at Sarafina who was polishing off her last sip of wine. She was never allowed more than three glasses on any occasion. She lifted her glass towards Alex who was already glaring in her direction. He must have seen us eye fucking. The night was already a disaster. His eyes held hers before they slowly trailed over to mine. I hid my smirk. I didn’t want him aware I was satisfied with the spectacle, I didn’t want him suspicious of me at all. Sarafina’s rebellion was enough of a red herring to keep his probing away from me. I wouldn’t antagonise the situation under Alex’s watchful eye, I would seduce her in private. Finishing my dinner, I kept my eyes and hands to myself thinking of the first time I pushed inside her.

  She rode up on her solid white prized horse as I waited at the barn door. She often rode when she was stressed or feeling the pressure from her cousin to do her bidding. He was the reason she was in London. He’d all but paraded her in front of Alex and I to make sure we knew she was bred for a king. Whether or not it was intended, I lusted for her the minute I laid eyes on her. Her cousin, Garrison, the Queen’s most trusted advisor had made it known to her that her life was as it was because he took it upon himself to get her in the royal mix. She felt no obligation to him, but that didn’t stop his demands.

  She’d rode out earlier with furrowed brows and tense shoulders and came back covered in a light perspiration wearing a soft smile.

  She was fifteen years old the first time I laid eyes on her. At eighteen, she was a goddess and every night for the past week, I’d feasted on her pussy while she moaned out my name. Her shy smile told me she expected no less when she trotted her horse into the barn and dismounted him. Grabbing the brush from my hand, she began to stroke him out as she whispered to me. “I missed you today.”

  “You did?”

  “So much. I…”

  Tilting my head, I leaned back and crossed my arms. “You what?”

  “I think about you always, with every thought.”

  I scraped my lip with my teeth. “Every thought, huh?”

  “I want to please you,” she said softly, her eyes cast down. “I want to give you all of me.”

  My body tensed. I knew we were moving at her pace, but I hadn’t realised how ready she was.

  “You’re sure?”

  Deep green eyes flicked to mine. “I’ve never been so sure of anything. I’m so very in love with you, Luke.”

  My chest filled and overflowed at her confession as I rejoiced inwardly. I’d been waiting years to hear those words, even though I already knew them to be true.

  She waited patiently and when I said nothing she showed me her hurt. “Do you not love me?”

  “I can’t tell you what I feel. Not here.”

  “Then where?”

  “Meet me in the garden in ten minutes.”

  She nodded as I walked away before I did something stupid.

  “Luke?”

  “Ten minutes,” I grit out, daring time and place to defy me.

  In the garden she waited for me with bated breath, I knew because the minute I touched her, she let it out with a stutter.

  She turned in my arms, putting them around my neck.

  “What will you say to me, I wonder?”

  “Love isn’t a good enough word for what I feel for you.” My fingers stroked her face as she looked up at me with darkening eyes. “Love seems nonsensical.”

  “What’s a good word?”

  “Eternal,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her lips and separating hers with my tongue. She moaned into my mouth as I inhaled her sweet scent. She still had a sheen of sweat on her forehead from riding and her hair tangled in my fingers as I ran them through it, still, she was perfect.

  “But if you must hear it for sentiment’s sake.”

  She pushed at my chest. “Don’t bother.”

  “Don’t be hurt, I’m pledging myself to you.”

  “Sounds like you resent it,” she huffed. “I have homework to do.”

  “Get over here. Now.”

  She stopped her footing and turned to face me with fire in her eyes. “I don’t obey you. I’ve got enough of that in my life!”

  “You will obey me, you will worship me, I will make sure you know of my love.”

  Her face fell. “This is how you confess your love for me?”

  “Come here.”

  I pointed to where she’d just stood, and she cautiously walked over.

  “Look at me.” She hesitantly raised her eyes to mine. “Today I lost an hour in bed stroking my cock thinking of you and it’s been that way for years. I have loved you Sarafina, but that’s transformed into much more.” Pushing the hair from her face, I gripped the back of her head and held my mouth an inch from hers. “This is more than love, this is far more.” I pressed my lips to hers, taking my time with her lower lip and sucking it into my mouth. She whimpered. “I already worship you, love you, and have loved you since the day I met you. I have wanted you this way for so long this day seems like a dream and I don’t ever want to wake.” She melted against my touch. “If you truly want to be mine in a way no one else has, promise yourself to me, right here, right now and I will never stray from you, I’ll never stay away. And I’ll make the same promise.”

  “I promise,” she said softly, her skin growing hot with my whispers.

  I took her by the hand and led her past the only guard I trusted, through a set of trees into a tiny meadow fit for two. I lay her down on the grass and took my time stripping her. She didn’t hesitate a second, unveiling herself to me. I’d feasted on her countless times, but this time was different. Shaking with the weight of it, she pulled my mouth to hers and kissed me fiercely, letting me know she wasn’t afraid. I ripped at my clothes until I was free of them, pushed her thighs apart with my hands before drinking in her sweet juice and thrusting my tongue where I intended on staki
ng my claim. Fina jumped at the feel as I licked and sucked long after she succumbed.

  “You need to come again.”

  She gripped my hair to try and tear me away from her. “I’m okay.”

  “You’re not, again,” I murmured as I licked her thoroughly before sucking her clit.

  She fell apart gasping my name as my cock went unbearably hard. She gripped it firmly in her hand, leading it to her soaked entrance.

  “Condom,” I said, shaking my head. She bit her lip as I plucked a condom from my trousers.

  “No,” she said, snatching it away. “Nothing between us, ever.”

  I damn near came then and there. I knew she was on the pill and I hadn’t touched anyone else but her since we met. Instead, I lined myself up and framed her face with my hands.

  “Ready?”

  Before she could finish her nod, I pressed hard inside her, only managing to fit half myself in. She bit down on my shoulder to muffle her surprise and her scream.

  “Oh, God, Oh Luke, fuck.”

  “Breathe baby.” I pushed in farther and froze. My cock was too big for her tight little cunt and I knew it. I moved to withdraw, and she opened wider, tugging at my arse.

  “No,” she said sharply as I looked down at her. “I want this.”

  Taking a deep breath, I pressed through her barrier and lost my fucking mind when the sensation of her tight heat kicked in. I was gone then, using the pads of my feet to propel me forward as I bottomed out in her sweet pussy.

  She continued to bite my chest as I fucked us both into oblivion. Pulling back as my sac tightened I looked her over. Rose coloured lips and nipples were the most beautiful focal point. Her breaths came out fast as hot tears trailed down her cheeks, her jaw shaking with pain and pleasure as I moved slowly inside her. “I wanted so badly for this not to hurt you.”

  “I love you so much,” she whispered, her jaw clenching with discomfort and friction. Sparks exploded in my belly as she opened her legs even wider and I sank all the way in, leaving nothing behind. We both moaned as I pressed into her and lifted her leg to fuck her as deep as I could go.

  “No one else,” I said in warning, “will ever touch you like this, promise me.”

  “Never.”

  “I’ll be the only one.”

  “Luke.” She was breathless and beautiful, and I’d been inside her less than a minute, but it felt like a blissful eternity.

  “This is what love is.” In an attempt to catch my breath, I pulled out of her and tongued my way down her stomach to the top of her mound. I kissed it reverently before coming back up to sink back into her. “This is what love is, commitment, loyalty, promises.” I pushed in hard as electricity bounced between our chests and I placed her hand over my heart. “But this, this feeling, it’s more.” I crushed my lips to hers as I erased all doubt that we were nothing but a cliché love story, that we belonged in a category all on our own. Nothing would — could — ever come between us, we defined our feelings by our own measure and nothing could ever take that from us.

  Staring at the trickling fountain that now stood where I’d taken her, I decided the cement block to that place in time was there for the better. It was just as well.

  “The first time we made love,” she whispered behind me as I closed my eyes. “That was the most beautiful day of my life.” I remained silent as her scent filled my nose.

  “I could never deny that day happened and no matter how much you hate me, Luke, neither can you.”

  “We were young and naive,” I said, sliding my hands in my trouser pockets.

  “Don’t…please don’t do that.”

  I turned to face her and had to keep my reaction in check. “Do what? Let’s not get sentimental about something that’s long over.”

  She was still as pristinely beautiful as the first day I saw her. Innocent eyes, full lips, a body made for sin. “Is it?”

  “The ring on your hand pretty much solidified that it is.”

  “Eyes don’t lie.”

  “But lips do,” I said, lighting a cigarette. “And yours are a prime example.”

  She eyed my cigarette. “When did you start smoking?”

  “You’re a little young to play mother to me.”

  “That’s not…I still care for you a great deal.”

  “Thank you, but it’s not necessary.”

  “Will you ever forgive me?”

  I blew out a cloud of smoke. “Nothing to forgive. You have your station, I couldn’t be the one to give it to you.”

  “It means nothing.”

  “Still, you took those vows.”

  “I had no choice.”

  “Let’s not complicate the truth and lies. You made your choice.”

  “I chose you.”

  Crushing the cigarette under my brogue, I took a step towards her. “How so?”

  “The Queen was going to expose the secret publicly, shame your family. This ring bought silence.”

  I slid my hands through my hair. “That’s what you think?”

  “I did it for you.”

  I shook my head. “You think I cared if it got out? The damage was done.”

  “She was going to strip you of your title.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “How can you say that?”

  Anger spiked up and I pushed it away. “I’d already lost everything that mattered.”

  “Luke…”

  “Don’t hide behind the fact you thought you were trying to protect me. You wanted that crown.”

  “I won’t hide. I beg you to forgive me.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Luke, please look at me.”

  I stared at her lips, it was my hardest obstacle, if I could get past the urge to kiss her, I would be so much better off. She was a pawn, not the woman I loved, not my future or forever, she was a means to an end.

  “Why did you ask me here, Sarafina?”

  She winced when I used her full name.

  “Please stop acting as if we didn’t love each other once.”

  I rolled my eyes, though her words stung. She could never be as personal to me as she once was. I’d made peace with it. Though the revelation behind her marriage to Alex had me reeling.

  I took a step forward and closed the space between us. “Did you honestly think marrying a man who wasn’t me, giving your body to him, sharing his bed was the way to protect me?”

  Her chest rose and fell, the straps of her gown threatening to fall with every expelled breath.

  “You never gave me a chance to explain myself. I’ve only ever loved you, Luke.”

  She lifted her hands and tugged the thin straps down bearing her flesh before she pushed the material over her hips. The glittery dress slid to the grass and I let my eyes have their fill. My heart seized as I realised how much I’d missed. She was more woman than the girl I loved. Pain seared through me as I appreciated every difference, every curve, every beautiful inch of her skin.

  “I asked you here to tell you I’m still yours, I only love you more and if you refuse me, I’ll still love you. That I’m sorry and I know what I did was stupid, and criminal.”

  Razor blades sliced through my vision as my heart threatened to burst from my chest.

  “I am still your queen, I’m still yours in every way. I’ve been unfaithful, I’ve broken my promise and I beg you to punish me.”

  I clamped my hand over her mouth pressing it hard, my anger getting the best of me. “Lies, filthy fucking lies, how can I mean anything to you?” She shook her head repeatedly, her eyes welling with tears. I refused to let her speak as I yanked at the belt on my trousers and pulled it away.

  She took a step back, ripping my hand from her mouth before she met my eyes and knelt at my feet. “I’m still yours, do what you will.” She bowed her head as anger surged through my veins, but the anger wasn’t safe, it was filled with emotion, with nights of pacing the grounds and staring at the palace where she slept with her new husband. I spe
nt years training my eyes away from getting just a glimpse of her. The anger stemmed from the countless hours of darkness where my heart continually skipped beats from the agony of her betrayal, recalling the exact moment she sealed our fate with the truth.

  Golden hair covered her face as she bent forward, the picture of submission. “I couldn’t lie to the Queen, she knew the truth. Still, I wish I had, every day I wish I had. Forgive me, forgive me.”

  She looked so fucking beautiful, her body ripe, her skin silky and translucent. Her offering was sacrificial and bold. It had taken her years to come to me this way. She was practised in obedience, but this was an entirely different level. I snapped the belt next to her and she didn’t flinch. She expected the worst from me.

  “Lie back and spread your legs.”

  A terrified breath escaped her as she did what she was told. I knelt between her parted thighs and shrugged off my jacket. Her eyes sought mine as she lay back, a halo of platinum hair behind her.

  “I’ve missed you.”

  “Don’t say another word.”

  Tears surfaced and fell down her cheeks as I spread her thighs and drank in her scent. Nostalgia threatened as I thought of all the times I’d brought her this pleasure. She was making my agenda easy to accomplish with her surrender, but I had expected so much more of a fight. She was allowing herself to be degraded all to please me, to show her remorse. It was a huge fucking mistake.

  Her body seized as I swiped my tongue against her clit. Her reaction was that of a woman who was starved. I sat back on my heels and perused her.

  “He’s not touching you?”

  “I don’t want him to.”

  “Why?”

  “You know why.”

  “He’s your king.”

  “No, he isn’t.”

  Blasphemy poured from her lips far too easily. “It seems it’s become easy for you to betray the men in your life.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “You’re blind.”

  I pushed a finger into her, then added another and she bucked against my touch. “I can see just fine.”

  She moved to sit, and I flattened her back to the grass with my palm.